Coffee Cup Chats | 100 No's


I hope you had a FANTASTIC Christmas and holiday weekend! I hope you ate tons of sugar cookies, drank lots of eggnog, and got to spend time with those you love the most! Welcome back for another week's Coffee Cup Chats! I'm so glad you're joining us. I've got a peppermint latte in hand and I'm ready to go...

100 No's
Story time! Who's excited? After college, but before I was a photographer, I did a stint in multi level marketing. (Think Mary Kay, but it wasn't Mary Kay) It was totally legit, I totally promise. To my (and everyone who watched me jump head first into it) surprise, I really enjoyed it.  The support and training was unmatched and sometimes I miss the community of women that I got to talk to weekly while I was running my little business. I learned so much from the experience I got with that company, and I want to share one of those lessons with you all today!

What are we so afraid of anyway?
The sentiment exists in many different forms: "Ask and you shall receive." "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Cliched one-liners boiling down to the same root principle... put yourself out there. But putting ourselves out there seems so shake-in-your-boots-scary, because each time we do it we make ourselves vulnerable to the dreaded word that we never EVER want to hear: NO.

What is it about hearing the word "NO" that strikes such fear into the depths of our souls and leaves us paralyzed on the sidelines? Why are we so afraid of it? What is the worst thing that can happen when we hear it? No, seriously. What is the worst thing? The worst thing is that we respond, "Ok, well thanks anyway." That's not so bad-why are we left so terrified?

I'll be honest, I don't have the answer to this. Maybe one of you lovely people does and you can share it with us and help us all reach enlightenment this morning! For me, the only trick I've learned to do to get around my fear of hearing the word "NO" is to numb myself to it and make it a game. I learned this trick from my mentors in multi level marketing and it's brilliant and it absolutely works.

Here's what you do...
You take a piece of paper and a pen (or multi colored markers if you're feeling snazzy), and you write the word NO one hundred times all over the paper. Then you take the paper and you hang it up by your desk. Each time you get a "NO" from someone you excitedly cross one of the 100 no's off your sheet. The idea is, that if you can put yourself out there enough to get 100 people to say NO to you, you'll get some pretty incredible YES-es as well. So as you start to cross of the  NO's, you get closer and closer to your big YES moment. I didn't have to cross out all 100 before I started getting some great YES moments myself. Just the act of turning a rejection into an exciting milestone makes you more prone to trying. 

You only need a few...
I've been turned down for things so many times. You guys, I get turned down ALL THE TIME. It's gotten to the point where I'm not scared to email big companies, or big names and ask them crazy things because I'm used to hearing NO and to me, it's worth it to get a few NO's if it means that I'll get a crazy awesome YES thrown in there every now and then. Because I don't need 100 YES-es.
I only need a few big ones. :) And you only need to start asking to be on your way to your own big YES. So get going! Ask. Leap. Try. And keep trying. You'll only get the YES if you first risk hearing the NO. 

To make this whole thing really easy for you, I put together a  free download sheet of 100 No's. Feel free to save it and print it out and start crossing those babies off as you work closer and closer to your BIG YES MOMENTS. 


24 Said Something:

  1. Interesting. I love how you can spin something negative into a profoundly positive concept. :) Hope you had a happy holiday!

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  2. Thanks for sharing this, Becka! Truth: it's totally self-defeating to live in fear of "no". Also, the "no" response is so totally necessary for self-growth, and so unavoidable, too! I think it's always helpful to remind myself of other times that I heard "no", and that I was still ok, regardless.

    *Laura

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  3. I like this a lot!!! It's still not easy to deal with but it's nice to have something to check off if you get that dreaded answer. This post came at a perfect time!

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  4. Becka this is awesome! I love the idea and will start tonight! :) Thanks girl!

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  5. That's such a brilliant way to deal with things and I'm so glad you shared it with us, I'm finishing my degree in June and will have to start interviews for a job. I'm nervous now but I'll be even more nervous when that time comes around! I'm definitely keeping this in mind :) xx

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  6. I love the thoughts behind this. I think it's a good challenge :)

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  7. um. so in reading your post I figured out that your pretty much amazing!

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  8. Exactly what I need! Such a great idea to turn this into something positive. Thank you.

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  9. Its amazing that something so simple is so profound to me. I love it. I think I may be using this in my near future.

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  10. great post! i'm about to start a big-time serious career-type job and i'm kinda sorta scared out of my pants! (but excited out of my pants too!) this is great advice.

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  11. This helped me get a promotion. I've been scared to ask for a while, and I decided to go for it. I asked my boyfriend to marry me immediately, and he said no, which is exactly what I wanted. I needed my first no in order to be confident! I asked for the promotion and got it! :) Thanks for the push. -hugs-

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  12. I like this theory, great idea! Thanks for sharing :)

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  13. I'm so glad everyone is running with this idea. I loved it back when I first heard it and I hope it helps all of you to step out of your comfort zone and start putting yourself out there to get more YESes :)

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  14. This is an AMAZING post! Thank you!!!

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  15. EXCELLENT! Gonna take the challenge. I'm already imagining how this could affect my business...

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  16. I love this idea! I'm getting better at putting myself out there, but it's definitely something I still need to work on. Thanks for sharing!

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  17. Becka- just happened upon your blog and I can't tell you how incredibly helpful this post is! I just launched my own event planning business and this method is going to make it much easier to reach out to people to try and drum up work. Thank you so much!

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  18. I just found this post via Something Charming...it's so brilliant! I love it :) Thanks for sharing! xoox, eliza

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  19. I adore this idea! List started. :)

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  20. This is definitely a pretty cool concept. I wonder if I can add this to my daily routine...

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  21. This is a wonderful idea. I'm going to start using it right away.

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  22. Late discovering this, but an awesome idea! Thanks so much!

    Takes a deep breath and gets ready...

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  23. This is an amazing idea. I've pinned it and I'm going to start as soon as I get home from work. I will not stop until I have the creative job I want.

    PS- I'm creeping all of your old posts because there is so much information to go through. Your words are so encouraging to me. Thank you!

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NOTE: Freedom of speech baby, but unnecessarily negative and hurtful things will be instantly deleted.

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