Coffee Cup Chats Remix | Why We Need The Ashes

Coffee Cup Chats is a weekly column where we all meet up, morning java in hand, to tackle some of the issues artistpreneurs deal with daily. It's a place for sharing stories, learning, and laughing at ourselves. Today I'm sharing an old post that resonated with a few people back in the humble beginnings of this blog so I thought I'd remix it for you all today in hopes that it speaks to even more of you. Please share your stories in options in the comments! 

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" *Plato

Nate and I went to see the Avengers last night and before the movie we watched preview after preview for action packed, high drama, life-on-the-line thrillers and I turned to my husband and asked him, "Do you think we, as a civilized society, are drawn to these stories of adventure and these characters who have to risk their lives because our lives are so safe and boring?" He said most certainly yes. Safe makes the story much less exciting. Writers of fiction know that without conflict for their protagonist to overcome, they have no story. It's that simple. 

If everything in life is always great, always easy, always simple, then when we accomplish things it doesn't really feel like an accomplishment. We get spoiled. It's when we have to fight and work and struggle that the accomplishment is so much sweeter, and so much more appreciated.

The year before I started my photography business was the darkest year of my life. I'm not going to get into it because I don't need to bore you with drama but lets just say it was dark. Like can't see your hand in front of your face dark.

And one of my biggest motivators then (and now, if I'm being completely honest) was making something of myself and creating something so big and good and successful that everyone that I knew before would go, "Wow! She is incredible!" I was so tired of being the girl that everyone judged, labeled, and felt sorry for that I just wanted to blow them all away with my success and goodness. I wanted to rise from those ashes.


Sometimes you've got no option but to become the Phoenix. And to become the Phoenix you've got to first go through the ashes. That means that something that used to be has to burn. There's a loss. There's a darkness. There's a struggle. And then there's your chance.

Your big moment to be reborn, or to lay there and give up.

Set yourself on fire and fly.

And remember, without the ashes you're not the Phoenix, then you're just a bird. And that's way less exciting of a story in the end isn't it? ;)


9 Said Something:

  1. You have no idea how badly I needed to read this! Thank you!!

  2. Ohhhh Becka... you are SPEAKING to me. I think I am in the process of what you referred to as "the dark year" and I completely understand where you are coming from! Thank you for this and thank you for your inspiring words.

  3. and remember the legend goes that when she rose again she was more beautiful and powerful than before x

  4. I don't know about the safe and boring thing. I mean, Seinfeld was pretty awesome.

  5. i'm going through a bit of a nasty "what the hell am i doing?" funk and reading things like this is exactly what I need to remind myself to stay focused. thank you so much for posting this ;)

  6. thanks for this...It's scary to let things die, burn, let go of them forever...even when you know you can't hold on, you don't want to let go, but it's necessary!

  7. Inspiring words, thank you for sharing. I recently came across your blog and I am happy that I did.

  8. I love this, because our old dog's name was Phoenix - and my husband named her that for that very reason. Also - this post really has me thinking a lot about the introduction to The Alchemist (which I just started reading) - and one line in particular, "The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times." Yes to rising from the ashes! :)


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