If you have a true artistpreneur heart then you know the blaze and burn of falling hard for an idea and throwing yourself into it only to flame out (for whatever reason) and be left with the ashes and embarrassment. I get it. It's part of our MO. It's in our DNA. It's what makes us great! (And possibly hard to live with, haha!)
But in the moment it can feel like the world (or our career) is ending and all we want to do is obsess and hide and drive ourselves crazy with negative talk about how we are such losers and why do we even try?
So here's 5 tips for how to STOP OBSESSING over that time you failed and to help you get back on track and moving forward. Ready? Let's go.
1. Own it, but don't BE it - You can admit that something didn't work without it having to define you. Separate a fail from your identity. Just because your idea wasn't the right one (yet) doesn't mean that you yourself are a failure. Personalizing a failure is a low blow to your self esteem and you don't need that. (Nor do you deserve it!) Remember that failing means that you are trying and with each failure you are one step closer to an answer that works!
2. Honor your feelings - It's never good to just pretend that you don't feel a certain way. So however you feel over this allow yourself to feel it and honor that feeling. Are you sad? Disappointed? Frustrated? Angry? It's all okay! Feel it. Give yourself 24 hours to fully give in to whatever you feel. Then it's time to take steps to move on.
3. Burn it down - Not literally. Calm down. This is something my mom told me to do in college when I was having a really hard time letting go of some stuff and it works like magic! Maybe it is magic. Who knows. Either way... write it down. The failure, your fears, your feelings. All of it. Purge it onto a page. Then take that paper and light it on fire. Burn it completely up and let the ashes blow away along with your fears and your failure. Let it all go with the wind!
4. Clear the air - Now that you got all those yuck thoughts and fears and hangups out of your head and out of your life, why not clean your physical space so you can give your mental space a break too! I don't know about you but when my physical space is stuffy and cluttered my head is too. And I tend to let things go amok when I'm in hermit woe-is-me mode. Grab a sage smudge stick from your local hippie hot spot (or you can even find these at Whole Foods now-a-days) and use it to clear your space. Sage has been used in ceremonies for centuries to clean and purify a space. Amplify your work by choosing a positive mantra or prayer to say while you walk through your workspace or living space with your sage.
5. Release the opinions of others - Most the time when we fail, it's not even the failure that freaks us out the most, it's the thought of "what will everything think of me now?!" that shakes us up. We all have such a deep rooted fear of losing the respect of others. Forbes magazine had a great quote about this that said, "What one person considers to be true about you is not necessary the truth about you, and if you give too much power to others’ opinions, it could douse your passion and confidence, undermining your ability to ultimately succeed."
Images via Wildfox's Current Lookbook, with which I am utterly obsessed.