Monday, July 18

COFFEE CUP CHATS // When I'm Feeling Stuck...

Grab a cup of coffee. I wanna talk. Let's pretend that we are sitting across a tiny table from each other, a breeze blowing across us and we're carefree! Coffee cup chats are the best kinds of chats aren't they? So what's going on with me right now you ask? I feel stuck.

I'm the kind of person who does really well when she is unleashed on a goal. When I decide on a path I'm ready to already be running down it. When I know what I want, I want it yesterday. When I'm ready to go, I'm ready to already be there. Anyone else? *raises hand*

Right now, I'm in between. I'm in between all the things. (Cue dramatic exhale.) I'm in between pretty much every big thing and big deal going on in my life right now. And I'll be honest, I don't love it.  I hate knowing where I want to be at, or what direction I want to go in, and then being powerless to move myself in that direction because of things outside of my control.

Summer is rough isn't it? It's like the bridge between the first half of the year and the second. And while it comes with some sweet perks like summer vacation, pool parties, and fireworks, it also comes with some downsides like no real schedule, lack of childcare, and waiting.

So what is a girl to do when she's feeling her least favorite feeling: stuck?

I've said before that I HATE feeling stuck. It's compulsive. If I start to feel stuck I start to panic and flail around and push back and rebel and try to force things I shouldn't be trying to force. I'm like an animal in a cage. It's not my best quality but for some reason stuck is just something that I hate.

So right now, as you can imagine, I'm feeling all sorts of uncomfortable. I hate feeling stuck. And even more than that I hate feeling stuck on things that I can't control. I can't make school start any sooner. I can't make events come any quicker. I can't make houses appear on the market that aren't there yet. I can't make other people say yes before they are ready. So I sit, stuck, at the mercy of the Universe to change the light from red to green so I can take off toward the future again.

So in case you are in mid-summer-stall-out in your life, here's some of what I'm doing to help myself push through to the other side.

1. Control The Controllable - Here's where I start to feel better. And maybe you will too? I can't control that there's no school or childcare right now. But I can control our daily schedule if I want to. I can set an alarm. I can plan a day trip. I can stop letting our days be run with reaction instead of proaction. I can get all the paperwork done. I can brainstorm new ideas so when the stop sign is lifted I'm ready to run. I can visualize and plan. I can take care of all the details so we are ready to go. Control the controllable.

2. Find Out What Have I Been Avoiding and Do That - I've noticed that when things start to slow to a crawl there's usually at least 1 or 2 things that I can do that I've been avoiding doing for whatever reason. Usually stuck comes alongside procrastination because stuck makes me feel powerless. I don't want to hit another wall. I don't want to try something and be disappointed if it doesn't help unstick me. I want to sit around and wallow for a bit and hope that magically my obstacle is removed. But that's not really helpful is it? So I try to find the thing I've been avoiding doing and do that thing. Because usually the thing we are avoiding is the thing we need to do the very most. I already know my thing. It's waking up earlier and working off a schedule. What's yours?

3. Trust - This isn't easy. And you guys, I'm preaching to myself on this one more than to any of you. But trusting the process and that the things that are supposed to happen and be happening are. It's tough to not be in 100% control, but we've gotta believe that things are going to work out, even when we can't control them. Inhale gratitude, exhale trust. Repeat.

So here we are, living in the in between moments and having to learn how to not only be okay with it, but make the best of it. I'm committing to doing those three things this week, what about you? If you're feeling stuck too tell me what steps you are going to take this week to help yourself handle the ickiness of stuck better so you can thrive in the in between. Come tell me!

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