Wednesday, May 17

On Ditching Adult Bullies and Finding Your Tribe



Have you ever been bullied by another adult? We all think about bullies as being kids who pick on other kids on playgrounds. But adults can be bullies too. I know, I dealt with one. Bare with me, this one gets personal...

I remember it like it was yesterday. In my house, on my turf, pretending like she had good intentions. Pretending to care for me when I was at my most vulnerable. I had taken my life and flipped it upside down. I was making, at that point, the biggest and toughest decision of my life. I was choosing to walk away from a 7 year relationship. No one could understand why and they didn't try. (But they sure did judge!) No one supported it. But I knew deep down it was what had to be done.

Then there she was. In all her self-righteous bully glory. She looked me in the face and told me one of the cruelest things any human has ever said to me. Something no one should ever say to anyone else, let alone someone already in a vulnerable place. It was a knife that cut right through me.

And just like that, my faith in an entire sisterhood crumbled to the ground. 5 years of friendship with these women, of sharing secrets and rooms and all the memories of my college experience. Just like that it came crumbling down around my feet. I saw them all in a new light. I felt every wall in my heart shoot up to the sky. Women friends were not to be trusted.

Women friends were not to be trusted. That was the message I learned that day. They would only be your friend as long as you stayed in line, went with the status quo, didn't rock their pretty little boat.

I lived like that for years. Not allowing any women close to me. Having mostly male friends. Not caring to pursue any relationships with people that shared my extra X chromosome.

Then three and a half years ago something amazing happened.

I found myself plopped right smack dap into an organization of women. A sisterhood. And I felt the fear rise up again. I felt like I had been thrown into the deep end barely knowing how to swim.

I felt the fear, but I pushed forward anyway because I also felt a spark of hope. Hope that this time things would be different.

And you guys, it was! Three and a half years from deciding to give girlfriends another try and now I have an entire TRIBE of passionate, loving, giving, beautiful female souls that I get to connect with every day through our private team page you can see here in this photo. We share our hearts, our dreams, our struggles. We lift each other up. We speak life into each other's dreams. We don't give up on each other when someone rocks the boat. We dig in. We share more than just business ideas and advice, we share our lives. I'm on the verge of tears just writing about it because it is such a 180 from my experience before. This team, this tribe is so much more than my business. It's my heart. It's my lifeline. It's my community and my village.

If you've been broken by yours in the past like I was I hope you won't give up. I hope you'll keep a tiny part of your heart open. I know it's hard. Find the others. Find the ones not shaken by life's ups and downs, who love recklessly and tirelessly and who match your passion beat for beat! They are out there! My Arrow Girls are proof of that!

(Wanna join us? Talk to me about it here!) 
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